White Gloves, Bronze Feet

He wasn't the man for swans, according to Wallace Stevens. He might have been the Tom Cruise of communism, but he disturbed the swans. Here is a fact I've just made up: Vladimir Ilyich Lenin is the most statued person in the world. There are more statues of Lenin than there are of the Buddha. This newly-minted fact may even be true.

As I sit on the steps by Lenin's feet, none of that matters to me in the least. I don't care about Lenin's politics, I don't care about his sociopathic personality, I don't care about his dictatorial policies. I don't care about his cute little cap or his massive Duncan McLeod-Highlander coat (there can be only one!). What I care about is this: redemption.

Not of his soul. Bugger his soul. I mean redemption in a purely utilitarian way. This sixteen foot bronze statue was torn down after the fall of communism. If the world made any sense at all, it should have been melted down and recast into bells and cymbals for oppressed peoples to play on the anniversary of Lenin's death. But the world doesn't make sense. So seven tons of bronze molded in the shape of one of the world's greatest criminals was shipped at great cost across the crumbling Soviet Union, shipped across the ocean, transported over American soil and erected right here, amid a forest of Mexican take-out restaurants. That's what I call redemption.

And that means there's hope for us all. That means even us slackers lazing against Lenin's scooter-sized feet and sipping on Snapple Peach Iced Tea can reasonably hope for a second chance. I mean, nothing we do will ever be nearly as bad as what Lenin did.

Lenin told us "You cannot make a revolution in white gloves." I don't know what that means, but I'm gonna get it printed onto a hoodie. I'll trademark it and sell them over the internet. I'll make millions. That'll be my redemption.

Comrade Bragg said it. The revolution is only a t-shirt away.

posted by greg @ 1:09 PM