More Pirates

I probably wouldn't have asked Gwen out if I'd known she had a kid. We'd already decided on the movie and where to have dinner when she said she'd need to check to see if her mother could watch her daughter. I'm thinking, daughter? But it was too late to back out.

So I made a plan. See the movie, choke down a quick dinner, dodge any conversation involving the kid, take her home, drop her off, and then spend the next couple of months trying to avoid her in the hallways. I even picked a movie I figured she wouldn't like, some action flick about spies.

Over dinner Gwen said she enjoyed the movie, but would have liked it better if it'd had pirates. "Pirates make every movie better," she said. That's when I realized she was funnier than me. As we ate I learned she was also better read, quicker-witted, and maybe even smarter. I also got the impression she had even fewer expectations than I did...as if she knew there wasn't going to be a second date so she didn't have to try to impress me. Or even amuse me. In fact, I sensed she was just amusing herself and wasn't particularly concerned if I got all her jokes.

I followed the plan. Dropped her off and spent the next few days avoiding her in the hallways. But I kept thinking of things she'd said over dinner. The next weekend I took a date to see some old Ingmar Bergman film. Afterwards, over drinks, she talked about the symbolism and the brilliant cinematography. "Needed more pirates," I told her. She thought I was witty.

So I deliberately bumped into Gwen in the hallway and asked her out again. She hesitated, but agreed. Eventually I met the kid, who was also funnier than me and maybe smarter...but not as well read. After a year Gwen and I married. Her daughter was the ringbearer. Afterwards, I asked the kid what she thought about the wedding.

"Not enough pirates," she said.

posted by greg @ 5:38 PM